Why the Digital Detox is so damn toxic
Hi Bestie!
Let's chat about something we've all considered at one point – the social media detox.
It's like declaring a timeout from the virtual world, hoping for a mental reset.
But, spoiler alert, it doesn't always play out as smoothly as we envision, well, it didn't for me anyway.
Loneliness, FOMO, and a rebound effect that hits harder than a Sunday evening.
Instead of ghosting your online life, I propose a different solution.
The Loneliness Tango
Imagine hitting the pause button on social media.
Sounds peaceful, right?
Well, when I tried it, I did not find inner peace, for me, it felt like stepping away from a cosy morning coffee with friends and finding myself in an empty room.
The isolation crept in, and so did the FOMO.
I felt like I was missing out.
Who knew my daily scroll was like a comforting chat with a bunch of besties?
I even started to miss the feeds of pages I didn't know in person, the ones who don't even know I exist!
Hi, Selfish Mother! - The moment I stopped my daily scroll Molly packed in her daily life running a small business, and jets off around the world, whaaat?!
The Binge-Worthy Rebound
Successfully complete the social media detox, and then what?
You waltz back into the scene only to be greeted by a flood of posts, updates, and memes.
It's like returning from holiday to find a pile of unread letters, and an overflowing inbox.
Suddenly, you're caught in a digital whirlwind, and clarity seems like a distant dream.
The Solution: Feed TLC
Before you think about ghosting your online life, consider this – a little (or a LOT of) TLC for your feed.
Unfollow the negativity, mute the drama (they will never know), and make your digital space a cozy corner of the internet.
It's not about cutting ties but about nurturing a space that lifts you up.
Taking control of your feed is like tending to a garden.
Prune away the unnecessary, plant seeds of positivity, and watch your online space blossom.
Follow accounts that bring joy, inspire you, and make you feel like you're part of a supportive community.
So, instead of waving goodbye to social media like it's a toxic ex, let's give it a warm hug and a little makeover.
Loneliness, FOMO, and post-detox chaos are no match for a gently curated feed.
Take it easy, tidy up, and let your online world become a garden of happiness.
Your digital self will thank you for it!
My IG, TikTok and Facebook feeds are now happy and colourful places to be.
Although, I did end up f**king off Twitter for good, as it doesn't give you the same control over your feed as the others.
Have you ever considered, or done, a digital detox?
Let me know!
I have to say it depends on the person. I found that when i step away for a period of down time i don’t feel better i feel more alone and for me that is scary. All my friends live on the media sad yep. But i am the type of person who panics if i have to meet people face to face. Also Anita i love all your work and your texts always arrive just when needed. Keep doing and being you. xx
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Sugar and Sloth replied:
Aww Angela, that’s not sad, online friends are just as real and vital as face to face friends! Aw thank you so much for all your amazing support lovely :) x
I have to say I have tried the social media detox but I found as you rightly pointed out going on holiday and finding a load of unopened post waiting for you. Although I considered it having a small break, I could never stay away from facebook for long, though I must say that lately I don’t bother much with instagram and I’ve F*cked Twitter off ages ago. I might just delete instagram, as I haven’t used it for a while.
I have to admit, I haven’t really thought about the social media space as a garden. That’s a really good comparison one of which I will certainly be doing for my Facebook account. I also think another aspect you have to consider is how much self discipline you have and how long/how much time a day you intend to put aside each day for scrolling through. I mainly set a side a quick 5-10mins of scrolling, liking and commenting on posts. But I spread it out so that it’s not taking over my day. It’s a really important skill to have.
Thanks for this interesting read. P.s. This is my first time writing on a forum like feature. I know it’s not a forum but it feels a little like one. 😊 hugs to you all at sugar and sloth, I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t stumbled upon your incredible cute page! X
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Sugar and Sloth replied:
Oh I love that you set aside time for your social scrolling Alison, do you find that works well for you? Hehe, I feel honoured that your first time writing on a forum (I guess it is a bit like a forum, yes!) is here, thank you for being amazing! :) X
Personally I think the reason behind the digital detox is more important than the action of it. In 2021 I had a bit of a breakdown at xmas and fell down a shame spiral due to other peoples xmas posts on Facebook. I knew I needed to remove that for at least the immediate future and focus on myself rather than trying to compare myself to an aesthetically curated version of someone else’s life. The only reason I still have FB is due to my sons cadet group which I need for parent info etc. otherwise I don’t miss it at all.
I’ve logged out of Twitter and only use Instagram to share funny posts with my teenagers. Removing social media gave me a break I needed and allowed me to focus on realising that my own kids were happy & healthy. I still log on to FB a couple of times a week for the group but I rarely check my notifications. I go into the screen to clear them then log back out.
A digital detox can be toxic if it’s not being done for the “right” reasons and if your habits don’t change. For me it was more about being more present in the real world rather than the virtual one. Everyone’s reasons will be different as will their subsequent experience.
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Sugar and Sloth replied:
Hi Alanna, that’s such a good point, the reasons behind why we use or decide not to use social media are so important. I’m so glad you’ve found a way that works for you – sharing funny posts is the perfect reason to keep Instagram! :) x
I really appreciate this article. It strikes a perfect balance and feels grounded in reality. I frequently suggest a similar approach to my clients as well. Rather than eliminating social media entirely, I advise revamping your feed to include content that uplifts and inspires you. This method also empowers you to have greater control over the information you consume.
(Therapist)
I personally have tried a digital detox but it did not help me. I don’t live anywhere near any of my friends or family (they mostly live in another country) and I feel so isolated, particularly during 2020 & 2021.
If I didn’t have social media, like FB, insta & WhatsApp, I wouldn’t have gotten to speak to my family members when they were gravely ill. I wouldn’t have ever gotten to say goodbye.
If a social media detox works for someone then good for them, but some of us have to live online cause otherwise we’d be isolated.
Almost anything can be viewed as toxic if it’s taken to the extreme. I, personally, blocked words that trigger me, mute people that I need to mute (but not unfriend) and I turned off notifications on all social media (except WhatsApp), so that I intentionally only see the notifications when I choose to go into said app.
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Sugar and Sloth replied:
Oh my goodness lovely, I’m so sorry for your losses, but so pleased you were able to speak to them and say goodbye <3 Sending big hugs xx
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