Self-Care for Crap Days: How to Look After Yourself When You Feel Like Rubbish

When we're feeling down about ourselves, it can be tough to break out of that mindset, and traditional advice like "practice gratitude" or "think positively" might feel hollow.

Here's a deeper look at how to care for yourself when self-worth is in the gutter, using principles rooted in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT):

1. Challenge the Thought, Not the Feeling

Instead of fighting how you feel, work with the thoughts that fuel it. CBT teaches us that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected.

When you're feeling rubbish, it’s easy to let negative thoughts snowball.

Start by noticing specific thoughts (e.g., "I’m useless"), and ask yourself: Is this fact or opinion?

You don’t need to force positive thinking—just being curious about the accuracy of your negative thoughts can break their grip.

2. Tiny Tasks for Big Wins

When your self-esteem is low, energy follows. Focus on low-effort, high-impact tasks that give you a sense of accomplishment, even if small.

Think something as simple as tidying one corner of a room or answering an easy email.

This isn't about being productive for the sake of it—it’s about reminding yourself that you’re capable, and even small actions matter.

3. Engage in "Pleasure Minus Pressure"

Activities If you feel rubbish, typical self-care activities like yoga or journaling might feel like another obligation.

Shift your focus to activities that give you pleasure without pressure.

This could be watching a comfort show, doodling without any artistic pressure, or taking a short walk with no fitness goals attached.

The idea is to enjoy something without tying it to a larger purpose or sense of accomplishment.

4. Turn Self-Talk Into Neutral Narration

Positive affirmations can feel forced when you're feeling down. Instead of trying to love yourself, practice neutral self-talk.

Acknowledge what’s happening without judgment:

"I’m having a tough day, but I’m doing what I can,"

or

"I notice my brain feels overwhelmed right now."

This neutral narration is less demanding than forced positivity and can still help shift your emotional state.

5. Body-Centered Grounding

Sometimes when our minds are overloaded with negativity, we forget the body is a tool to anchor us.

Try body-centered grounding exercises like progressive muscle relaxation or just focusing on the weight of your body in a chair.

This gives you a mental break from rumination and reminds you that you exist in the present moment—not just in your negative thoughts.

6. Connect, Even Briefly

When self-esteem plummets, isolation often follows.

If the idea of socialising feels daunting, find a low-key way to connect: send a meme to a friend, or even engage in brief, positive interactions like a quick text.

You don’t have to dive into deep conversations, but knowing someone is there can counterbalance the negative thoughts swirling in your head.

7. Reframe “Doing Nothing” as Rest

It’s easy to label unproductive days as failures, especially when self-worth is tied to accomplishment. Instead of viewing it as “doing nothing,” reframe it as rest.

Your brain and body need downtime to recover from negative emotional states, and intentional rest is part of self-care.

There’s value in stillness, even if society says otherwise. The goal isn’t to fix everything when you feel rubbish but to give yourself permission to exist, as you are, with small steps toward self-kindness. Caring for yourself on bad days is HARD.

So building a self-care routine on your good days is so crucial.

When self-care becomes second nature, it’s easier to stick with it even when you're struggling.

Plus, once you start feeling the benefits of regular self-care, those tough days will likely become less frequent.

What would you like to add into your daily self-care routine?

Exercise, journaling, mediation, breathing exercises all work wonders as a daily practise - even 5 or 10 minutes is a great start!

Save this post for the days when even 5 minutes of these seem like too much.